RE: college-THE BEST SET INTENTIONS :0)

Wednesday, August 8, 2001, Age 20

I just made list upon list upon list in attempt to organize self, showered, and packed a bit more (including cosmetics which takes forever!).  Now I also know what I’m going to attempt to do tomorrow.  Very long list…we’ll see what happens.  I’m first going to attempt to get up at ten…is now 3:31am…hmm?!

I cannot decide what to do with the Dave issue.  Shall I just not email him?  Shall I email him and tell him I’m going to be in North Canton?  Shall I email him and tell him that I want to see him, make passionate love to him, and then spend the rest of my life and make beautiful children with him?!  Ooops!  Did I say that?

Hah!  Well anyways, I guess we shall see.  It’s a shame we cannot act on some fantasies though.  Ohh God help me!  Will I ever get over him?

Oh!  Also meant to mention…in spite of a few very minor setbacks, I have been uncharacteristically happy for the past month!  I’m very glad to be happy as well!  It’s very fun!  I’ve even found things to do with all of my spare time and even stopped fighting with my parents for the most part!  Yeah for me!

It gives me confidence to know that I did at least smoke a bit of weed and what not this summer.  I think that I still will be around it quite a bit at school, and though I will feebly attempt to resist temptation…I imagine at least in the beginning I will give in somewhat for the sake of old times and whatnot.  But I am a happy camper and as long as I limit my intake of drugs (including nicotine and caffeine among others!) and alcohol to say…like, three times a week…then I should be okay.  I want to try to eat healthy and get a decent amount of sleep every night during the week, in addition to keeping some kind of morning schedule, such as roll out of bed at 9am, plug in hot rollers and lay on futon in sun with news on TV till 9:30am, get ready and leave by 10:15am and actually arrive to class on time!  

I can’t wait to start guitar!  Am hoping I’ll be good at it, or at least catch on decently fast!

I can’t believe I am done with this journal!  I love this journal!  But on to bigger and better ones I suppose!  All my love…