Sunday, November 26, 2000, Age 19

Okay, so I haven’t written for awhile but something very very bad has happened and Jen isn’t here to tell, which if she was here I wouldn’t have done it, so damn her!  No just kidding, but what happened was tonight Jared and Bobby and Jes and I smoked together and then everyone went to bed but me and Bobby and I guess you could say I got sort of affectionate with Bobby.  Like, we were just laying there watching TV and I was half asleep but curled up on him sort of with my leg on him oooh bad Marissa.  And fuck me if anyone ever reads this (but mostly fuck you whoever does!) but I kind of have just seen Bobby as this sort of girlfriend I guess, you know, like we’re good friends and I can talk to him about anything and Jen used to be affectionate kinda to him so I thought I would be safe too.

But tonight after the movie before bed he confronted me on it and asked if I had feelings for him or if I was just ‘affectionate’ and of course I said I’m just affectionate, sorry ya know that’s just the way I am, but then he cleverly pointed out that I only act that way with him and then I was just thinking fuck you bitch get out and quit talking to me!  Oh fuck me fuck me the trouble I get myself into!  No more smoking!  And fuck boys!  This damn school!  I’m telling you!

P.S. note from 5/3/2026: I forgive you for reading this ;0)