Wednesday, July 12, 2000, Age 19

Baahh!  I was doing so well!  I suppose I can’t write everyday though.  Okay, so I love my JenJen and everything but ya know how you sometimes just get those middle school feelings of jealousy by no fault of your own?  Hah….well yeah that’s it.  Okay so I read her favorite book right, ‘A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,’ a classic and everything but blah and boring as shit just the same.  And then I send her my favorite book right, ‘The Diary of Bridget Jones’ and now she’s all it’s mmyyyy favorite book and I’m just kinda like grrr.  Hah I’m a fucking moron.  

Okay so ya know what really has been bothering me?!  My mom is always dropping lit-tle hints that she thinks David and I will get back together someday and I always used to just be like ahhhh shut up ma!  And then when we moved in here in Minnesota and I was looking through my old pictures and I found ones of him and I right before we both left for college after high school and that started me all thinkin’ about him (grrr…) and then I wrote him a letter that was like 3 pages long n’shit and I don’t know what to think sometimes.  I wish I could just completely forget about him sometimes because if you think about it, even if we did get back together someday we could never get married or anything obviously because not in a fucking million years could I butcher my name up like that!  No friggin’ way! 

Okay, what else?  I still have no job but it was completely pointless to get all huff-i-fied over John and his amazing job because they called and canceled it on him…hah serves him right for bein’ cocky n’shit.  Ahhh…I shouldn’t be mean bahahhaha!  Okay, yeah, but they (the temp agency) found me a job too and then canceled on me too so I can laugh all I want! 

Ohh yeah…I meant to tell you also of how my ex-boyfriend AJ, who fucking basically was Brad in the first place (shoulda known Maris!), is so fucking desperate he has shit all over the internet.  He has an IM message on all the time that is basically begging people to talk to him and he had a personal ad on this college dating site.

But I don’t know if this should make me delighted or embarrassed because no.1 my ex is a fucking loser, but at the same time no.2 I was the dumb fuck who dated him.  Oh well, shit happens, ya know?